


for all of us

by orphan_account



Category: NU'EST, Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Drinking, Friendship, Other, Self-Hatred, tagged as 2hyun bc the hints are there but mostly about Nu'est's relationship as a whole, yeah it's another final episode fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-20
Updated: 2017-06-20
Packaged: 2018-11-16 17:00:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11257104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: There was always the possibility that just one of them would make it, but that one person was never supposed to be him.





	for all of us

"Pledis Hwang Minhyun!"

There were cheers from the audience, congratulations coming in from the other trainees, and Minhyun walked up to the number nine seat with a smile

He had guessed it would be his name as soon as ‘Pledis’ was called. He'd thought maybe he wouldn't make it when his photo was shown in the 11th to 14th ranks, he may have placed inside the top eleven for most of the show but not to the capacity that his place was guaranteed like a few lucky trainees, but his risky place had obviously just urged the fans to vote harder if he was now up two or more places from the mid-show reveal.

The chair wasn't comfortable as he sat in it, they never had been, and he hoped he wouldn't have to stay there too long before the show ends but he knew that wasn't how it worked, they'd draw this out for as long as they could (as if that wasn't cruel, both to the people standing on stage and their fans.)

He sat waiting for the next names to be called, the reveal of each was anxiety inducing and only seemed to take longer and longer each time, though perhaps that was just his imagination.

He was happy for everyone who made it in, especially elated when Jaehwan reached fourth place. The serendipity of ending up in every team together from start to end really had made them close, and out of the friends he met on the show he had been the one Minhyun was most worried about for the final rankings.

Then Daehwi was called third and a sudden but incessant doubt made its way into Minhyun's mind.

Shouldn't the top three be Daniel, Jihoon, and Jonghyun? That's what everything had seemed to point to lately. Had one of them really fell so far? and _who_?

A second later, reality punched him in the gut.

Top two: Jihoon and Daniel, with Jonghyun nowhere to be seen.

He barely heard anything that happened after that. Daniel and Jihoon had already walked up onto the podiums but Minhyun's mind was too busy reeling with "what" and "how" and "what does this mean now?" for any of it to sink in.

There was only one place left, eleventh...it _had_ to be him. Jonghyun had ranked more comfortably within the top eleven than any of them since the first elimination, he'd even ranked first, he may have fell far but he couldn't fall out completely...right?

Minhyun was so lost in his own thoughts that he hadn't even noticed the winner had been announced until Daniel was making his way up to the chair. Minhyun was glad, he really was, Daniel had been a good friend since the days of Justice League, god, those days seemed both so long ago and just like yesterday.

But if he was honest, he was still more focused on waiting to hear eleventh place.

Looking at the filled ten chairs, even if he wasn't close to every last one of them he knew they were all nice, fun, and hardworking, Minhyun couldn't think of people he'd want to debut with more...if only he took debuting with Nu'est all over again out of the equation.

He may have been trapped in this chair, but in the next few moments Minhyun was taken on the most sickening rollercoaster ride he’d ever experienced, from seeing Dongho and Jonghyun on the screen for eleventh place candidates, a harsh reminder he could only pick one of them but still a glimmer of hope, to -

“Fourteenth place, Kim Jonghyun.”

“Thirteenth place, Kang Dongho.”

Minhyun had been called "another pledis stone face", but this was enough to break stone, more than breaking, he shattered.

There was always the possibility that just one of them would make it, but that one person was never supposed to be him.

Before the show started, they'd thought if it was going to be any of them (and for the most part they'd all secretly believed it would be none of them, they knew they had the talent for it, but the last five years had shown them talent wasn't enough, and Produce 101 was even more of a popularity contest than the regular idol industry, popularity was never something that had been on their side) it would be Minki. 

In interviews as Nu’est, they'd all always and unquestionably put him down as the most popular member when asked. But Mnet's editing had quickly put an end to that possibility, they were being watched by more than just their own small fanbase now and anyone newly exposed to them would see Minki as...well, they wouldn't see him at all. Minki barely showed up on screen, and when he did they didn't show the sides that made the members and their fans fall for him, they only showed the insecure boy that the show brought out in every trainee there.

Soon enough it was clear who Mnet had picked out of the four of them to favour, Jonghyun, the "failed leader" who redeemed himself in the eyes of the public as if Nu'est's fate had _ever_ been his fault and not that of awful management and pure bad luck.

Jonghyun had shot to the top, it seemed like he'd proved to the audience and just as importantly to himself that he had what it takes to lead, but now Minhyun was standing at the top alone, and he had no idea why.

As his fellow Wanna One mem- no, he couldn't bring himself to call them that just that yet - as the rest of the top eleven smiled and hugged and screamed about their victory Minhyun walked off to the side with his tears flowing freely for everyone to see, not even able to bring himself to care about how he must look, and thought about how it might be different.

Would it be different if the person who once seemed like the shining star of their band hadn't been reduced to a side character?

Would it be different if they hadn't tried to make one of them look mean and scary, not giving up until halfway through when they realised he was gaining popularity anyway?

Would it be different if they hadn't always shown Minhyun by Jonghyun's side, as each others supporting pillars who just _had_ to debut together because ‘what would they do without each other’ only for that to probably split some of Jonghyun's votes towards Minhyun once he was revealed as being cutline, leading to them being separated anyway?

Maybe it would be different, maybe it would have split their votes even more meaning none of them got in against all the trainees with singular fandoms...

...and maybe that would have been better than this.

When his groupmates, the ones he'd spent five years with, pulled him into a hug, he realised that yeah, right now that would definitely be better than this.

Once the hugs and congratulations had been deemed by the crew to have taken long enough they were all ushered backstage, survivors and those eliminated alike. Minhyun was a little shaky walking towards his dressing room but he knew Jonghyun, Dongho, and Minki were right behind him and that's what kept him going.

Minhyun's sobs had barely settled by the time they were all gathered in the room. Looking at his friends there was so much he wanted to say to all three of them, as well as the other contestants milling around him, but the cameras were still rolling because this was supposed to be a happy moment, a moment for the fans to see how much joy they'd caused their top eleven and for their top eleven to thank them again for their votes.

For the other ten of them, it was.

"It's okay, as long as one of us made it, it's okay," Jonghyun told him.

He knew their leader was right, he knew that they'd came on the show to gain popularity and unless at least one of them made it to the final group then that popularity would probably never stick once wanna one officially debuted, but it only brought on a fresh wave of tears.

If the one of them who made it had to be him, right now he thinks he'd rather none of them made it. Even if meant disbandment, at least they'd disband together.

"God, looking at us you'd think you were the loser, not us," Dongho said with a laugh, coming from anyone else it probably would have sounded bitter, but Dongho's laugh was too honest for it to ever come across that way.

"You're not losers," Was all Minhyun could choke out. Really there was so much more he wanted to say, he felt disgusted with himself when he remembered that his fate was supposed to be the ideal one and he's the one who should be comforting them right now, instead of them having to put on brave faces for his sake.

None of them said anything to that, instead they just draped their arms over him in silence until the crying finally stopped. He opened his mouth to speak to them, but a camera was shoved in his face to interview him before the tears on his face even dried.

When they were finally all set free for the night they were told to return to their companies dorms to pack any remaining things they may need while the new ones were still being set up, Minhyun was just grateful they had a little more time.

The trip in the company van was silent for the first time in years, the somber feeling filled the air until it seemed almost suffocating. No one spoke a word because none of them were sure what to say, and Minhyun didn't want to break it until he had his words organised in his mind.

"Let us out here," Minhyun almost jumped at the sudden sound of Minki's request. The driver up front was no doubt confused, but he pulled over nonetheless.

Minhyun exited the van to see they were still a good few blocks away from the Pledis dorms. The sky was pitch black, It had to be around three a.m right now, the only light source was the dim glow of the street lamps, lucky for them it was a mild summer's night instead of any other season, but the weather just made Minhyun feel more tired than the cold seeping into his bones would.

"What are we doing here?" Minhyun asked, too drained to try figure it out for himself.

"Let's go for a drink!" Minki replied, he sounded more upbeat than he had in weeks and it threw Minhyun off-kilter.

"I- I don't-" He stuttered.

"You don't have to," Minki answered, voice serious once again, and Minhyun realised of course he was just trying to bury his sadness away "I just...want us to get away for the night! Away from Pledis, away from Produce 101...I want us to be free."

It wasn't the answer Minhyun had been expecting but he didn't even have time to analyse it before their other two bandmates were agreeing.

"Yeah, okay, let's be free." Minhyun nodded.

They found a bar that was still open yet mostly empty and huddled inside. They were still quiet but there was a new energy in the air, something tentative and easily breakable but a little less suffocating than before.

They ordered in drinks and Minhyun watched as his friends downed them, lips getting looser with each drink. It wasn't long until the conversations they'd been avoiding started, but even sober Minhyun didn't want to run away from the anymore.

"Why did you cry?" Jonghyun asked him. He most likely already knew the answer, but Minhyun knew he always wanted to be sure how each of them felt so there were no miscommunications.

Minhyun took a deep breath and started to talk, he thought carefully about his words but at the same time didn't hold anything back.

"Because I was _alone_ up there. We went on that show to prove ourselves, and we did, but what happens now? I'm going to be promoting with Wanna One, and halfway through they come up with that rule that no one in the group can promote with their original companies...what happens to Nu'est?"

"We'll be okay. We're proud of you Minhyun, we'll support you in this path and we'll be waiting for you when you come back," The other replied, honest and more confident than the situation should allow.

"You'll be waiting for me? As my friends or as Nu'est?" Minhyun's voice was shaky and he was starting to wonder if suddenly he was just the kind of person who cried a lot, because twice in one day would be too much for him.

"As both." Jonghyun replied. Then, looking him straight in the eye, he asked "Do you trust me?"

"Yes," He breathed, because no matter how uncertain their future was he did trust Jonghyun, he had since the day they'd met and never stopped.

Jonghyun smiled at him, and Minhyun realised he had another question to ask.

"How did you feel? When you were announced as fourteenth?"

Jonghyun continued to smile, so before he could speak Minhyun cut him off.

"Be honest with me, please."

Jonghyun's smile still didn't disappear, but it faded into something more subtle and bittersweet.

"I wasn't expecting it," Jonghyun started "They called me the nations leader, they gave me that number one spot even when I felt I didn't deserve it, until I finally started to feel like I did. Then all the support disappeared when I needed it most, but I think we're used to that by now, huh?"

Two slightly bitter smiles joined their leaders across the table and Minhyun thought his expression probably matched too.

"I'm happy for Sungwoon, he deserved that eleventh spot." Jonghyun added.

Minhyun nodded in agreement. It seemed like a lot of people, even Mnet themselves, forgot that Sungwoon was also an already debuted contestant, along with Taehyun, and Topp Dogg's Sanggyun, and others who they'd lost earlier in the competition. Sungwoon had been in the same boat they were, if not for quite for so long and not in quite the same way. His group had been unknown, even more so than their own who at least had a popular debut track and a well known company behind them. Sungwoon was more than talented enough, and Minhyun was glad he could show that before it was too late. 

"Me too...but it should have been you, not instead of him, instead of me." Minhyun's voice was no more than a whisper, but Jonghyun heard him in the quiet of the bar.

"No, it shouldn't of. You deserve this just as much as any of them do, Minhyun." Jonghyun looped his arm around Minhyun's back to reassuringly pat his shoulder. "Besides, do you think I would have taken it any better than you did? I'm the leader, leading all of you to success has always been more important than my own... _you_ have always been more important to me. Anyway, we all know I'm the bigger crybaby out of the two of us." He laughed, and despite everything Minhyun found himself laughing too.

A few more drinks passed in lighter conversation, about old times or their better memories from the show, but despite the din of chatter Minki's sudden "Oh my god" caught everyone's attention.

He was sat with his phone in his hand, nothing unusual there, one of the first things he'd probably wanted to do was finally update his personal social media, what was strange was the way he wasn't actually doing anything with the phone and was just staring at it with wide eyes.

"What's wrong?" Dongho asked, he leaned over Minki's shoulder to see the phone screen only for his jaw to drop when he saw whatever the other was looking at.

"What? What is it?" Jonghyun asked urgently, probably already thinking about everything that could have gone wrong.

Dongho snatched the phone from Minki's hand and slid it across the table for Jonghyun to grab. He started at it for a moment, and Minhyun looked around in curiosity to see if he could glean off any of their faces what the hell was going on.

"We're....we're charting." Jonghyun said, he sounded like he didn't quite believe it, Minhyun wasn't sure he'd heard him right.

"We're what?" He asked the table at large, since Jonghyun was clutching the phone too tightly for him to see.

"We're charting." Dongho confirmed, seeming a bit more composed now. "Hello is number three on melon, other charts too, and there's other songs further down the list."

"We're trending on twitter too, first in the whole country, even above Produce 101." Minki added, eyes still wide even with nothing to stare at.

"We...we did it." Jonghyun said. "We did it!"

Instead of a tentative smile Jonghyun's grin was now bright and blinding, a sight Minhyun had sorely missed. Soon enough they were all smiling, even laughing though there was nothing funny about the situation, they just didn't know how else to express their joy.

Months of hard work, _years_ even, and overnight, on a night of no significant importance to anyone but themselves, it seemed to finally be paying off.

"I think this calls for a toast," Dongho said once they'd calmed down a little and the news had settled in as much as it could.

"What to, exactly?" Minki asked, already raising his glass.

They all thought it over for a moment, until finally Jonghyun's glass joined the others.

"To Baekho," He said decisively. After knowing each other for so many years, they immediately understood where he was going with this.

"To Ren." Dongho nodded.

"To JR." Minki smiled.

Minhyun watched as they all turned to him and said, in perfect synchrony, as if planned "To Minhyun."

"Just Minhyun?" He laughed a little, regretting not choosing a stage name like the others for the first time.

"Yes, to Minhyun. To Wanna One's Minhyun, and to Nu'est's Minhyun." Jonghyun said seriously "Always Nu'est's Minhyun."

Minhyun felt a warm feeling spread throughout his chest, like a shower after practice or the tea the members made him when he fell ill, and for the first time that night he felt like things might be okay.

Their futures were still unsure, this sign of success might just be a fleeting moment before people move on, and they’d have to go back to their old lives of waiting for promotions that never come and awards that don't touch their hands, but in that moment, on a warm summer night for four boys alone in a bar in an unknown part of Seoul, there was hope.

Minhyun knew if that hope did blossom into something real then he wouldn't be there with his friends to experience it, he'd be on a path of his own with ten new friends who would hopefully become as close to him as the ones sat here, but that was okay because he'd come back to them eventually, and even when he was gone any rewards for their hard work would be for all of them, together.

**Author's Note:**

> I know I'm like a week late to the party, but while I'd had random parts of this floating around in my mind since the episode aired it wasn't until reading other people's perspectives on this moment I really felt motivated to write it down.
> 
> I was as sad as everyone else when Joghyun didn't make the final line-up, but thankfully I'm over it now and hope for all the best for Wanna One, Nu'est, and all the other eliminated trainees.


End file.
